So it's my first post after bringing Echo home from the hospital, the first post of mommyhood. Never have a I felt so simultaneously exhilarated and exhausted. I am finally starting to feel like myself again however, and settling in to some sort of routine and I wanted to share my thoughts on my birth experience and the first few days of being a mom.
First of all I want to let people know that it's really really hard. Not to scare any of you off of having kids but that's just the truth. It's totally worth it, but it's incredibly difficult and I really don't think there is any way to prepare yourself for that. Echo's birth was extremely painful, I chose to go all natural and didn't have any drugs through the entire process and wow did it hurt! I can honestly say it's the worst pain I've ever felt and at times I didn't think I could do it (of course by that time I didn't have any choice but to do it, lol). I can't even begin to describe the emotions you go through after you finally finish pushing that baby out though, it's incredible! The feelings of relief and joy are overwhelming and there is nothing quite as surreal and wonderful as holding your baby for the first time.
I will say this about going the natural route, I feel like my recovery was so much quicker than it would have been otherwise. I was able to go home from the hospital after only spending one night and I was never so happy to be back in my own home. Of course then I had to figure out how to care for this amazing, new little person that I had brought home with me. I have to give major props to single moms after my experiences during the first few days at home. I honestly don't think I could have done it without the support of my amazing husband, not to mention my parents who were there to help every step of the way. Having a support system is so incredibly important when you are going through this difficult time.
There are many reasons that this is the hardest thing I've ever done. First of all, your body is totally wrecked and has literally been ripped apart. Ideally you would have plenty of rest and relaxation after going through something as traumatic and difficult as giving birth. Wrong! Instead you will never get a good night's sleep again! Newborns need to be fed every 2 to 3 hours so there will be no sleeping through the night for you any time soon. In addition to the physical pain and sleep deprivation you are also on an emotional roller coaster and your hormones are going crazy. This all makes you feel moody, irritable and/or depressed. On the plus side you also experience moments of extreme joy and will burst in to tears just looking at your baby because "she's just so beautiful!"
I can also assure you that as hard as it is, it gets better. It gets better relatively fast in fact. After just two weeks my physical pain is far less (although still present) and my emotions are leveling out. I'm starting to be more comfortable taking Echo out with me which has really helped my cabin fever. It also doesn't hurt that people oh, ah and generally carry on over her wherever we go :-) It's amazing how quickly and how deeply you can fall in love with this strange little person that has come from you and your partner.
Being a mom is incredibly difficult and incredibly amazing. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world though :-)
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